108 Car vs Cat (or dog) Anatomy Lesson

Many of you know that my husband and I “do” old cars, specifically Model A Fords. Built by Henry Ford in 1928, 29, 30, &31, they are classic, fun to drive, and so simple to work on. And we work on them a lot. So I know a little bit about “car anatomy” of these classic cars, which are way less complicated than today’s computerized monstrosities. As a result of this hobby, I find myself using car analogies when I talk to clients about their pets. For example, for lameness, I look at the toe nails like I would tire tread to look for odd wear patterns.

Body systems of Cars and Animals:

Dermal system– This is obviously the painted sheet metal. Some car owners get really fussy about their paint job. Others just want it not to rust too badly. We even call rust spots “cancer”. So it needs some care like washing and waxing. “Wax on, wax off”, kind of like a cat licking itself or bathing a dog. Fortunately for pets, their skin heals on its own. Hail damage or a dented sheet metal doesn’t heal itself. Fortunately for cars, there aren’t “car fleas”. I think of the tires like feet with sneakers on, or maybe more like stiletto heels when we use those skinny tires with tubes. And if the tires aren’t aligned right, we call it “toeing in “or “toeing out”. Imagine the way a bull dog walks “toe in”, or a dachshund with crooked legs walks “toe out”.

Skeletal system– The frame (or chassis) is like an animal’s bones which support the rest of the car body (unlike today’s “unibody” cars). The “joints” of a car are very like out joints- they need lubrication and can wear out. Car joints can be replaced, but then so can some dog joints. We give the cars a shot of grease when they get creaky and we give pain medicine to arthritic dog. And the steering and braking were all mechanical back in the 30s, so you have to really stomp on those brakes, and your arms can get tired after fighting that steering wheel after a long day’s drive. Fatigued and broken metal frames can be welded instead of pinned or cast in plaster. Actually, many Model A bodies are partially wood instead of all metal.

Circulatory system (heart & blood)– This would be the engine with oil and coolant. The radiator would be like the capillaries & sweat glands in the skin to help cooling, (dogs and cat don’t really “sweat” through their skin), but they do pant or radiate on their foot pads, nose & ears. Standard Model As do not have a pressurized coolant system, and you can actually read the engine temp on the thermometer that looks like hood ornament on the radiator cap. I wish cats had a pop out thermometer so I wouldn’t have to take it rectally. Sometimes when I see an anemic dog, I say they are a “quart low. “ And I often compare a spleen to an oil filter, because it filters blood.

Respiratory system– The nose would be like intake manifold, the lungs are like the carburetors because Model As are air-aspirated (no fuel injection back in 1930). The carburetor mixes the air with the gasoline and feeds it to the engine. This is really important when we go into the mountains where the air is thinner. At least we can manually” adjust” the carburetor, unlike a dog or cat. They just breathe harder until their bodies adjust to the altitude. One different is a dog bark or cat meow is air driven, while the famous “ahooga” horn is purely electrical. Low voltage car, sad sounding horn.

Gastrointestinal system– This is where the fuel goes, but gas instead of kibble. Buy crummy gas, have poor running car. So I guess the muffler is “you know what”. I don’t know of any “prescription” fuels, but they definitely come in different grades based on Octane. My husband, in the petroleum industry, swears all “gasoline” is the same, but the additive packages in different brands make a huge difference on the lifetime of an engine, which makes him a gas “snob”, just like some pet owners are with pet food labels. Back in 1930, these cars could run on just about anything, even moonshine. Some dogs and cats seem to get by with low quality food, where others need the expensive stuff.

Nervous system (brain & spinal nerves)– the electrical system. Now in the stock Model A, you find a 6 V system instead of 12V. Many of us have upgraded to a more standard and more powerful 12V, so we have brighter lights, modern batteries and alternators. No computers or fancy sensors back in 1930. You get a mechanical “speedo” with odometer, a fuel gauge that floats in the tank and points vaguely to your level (located just behind the engine basically over your lap), and a dash light bulb that you have to turn on to use. Does that make the headlights like eyes? I often compare the eye’s cornea to a windshield and the eyelids to windshield washers. Model A don’t have windshield washing systems, with solutions. We get out and wash them by hand, and use a lot of Rainex.
For electrical things to work right, those wires have to be intact, no electrical shorts. Kind of like a dachshund that is down in the back. And if you pull the master fuse on a Model A, it is like a dog fainting. No signals going anywhere. I don’t think cars “seizure”, but when they sputter, it sure feels like it.
Cars can “store” electrical energy in the battery. Dogs and cats store biochemical energy in their fat. Some store a lot more than others.

Endocrine and Immune systems– I read in on a woman’s auto repair site, that modern on-board computers and sensors are the like endocrine and immune systems. I am sure glad dogs and cats have them, but there is nothing like that in an old Model A. We rely on traveling in groups to help when we have “unscheduled roadside seminars” (aka breakdowns). Imagine a hyperactive Cabriolet with hyperthyroidism, or a sluggish Phaeton with hypothryoidism! A diabetic Woody Station Wagon? What about a moody Coupe “in heat”? But it sure would be handy to leave two cars in the garage together, and come back to find a little baby Roadster!

Come out the Pate Car Swap Meet this weekend (April 25-17, 2019) at Texas Motor Speedway to see the shrine of the rusty old car part and classic automobile. Admission is free, but parking is $5. And yes, my husband will be there, working for the Model A Club. AAhhooogggaaaa!
See you down the road.

106 Veterinary Care of Dragons

I love Games of Thrones. I am looking forward to seeing the dragons again April 14 in the final season of the HBO series.
I was originally planning on writing an article about the veterinary care and husbandry of bearded dragons, a small pet species that I treat and enjoy. I also just watched the latest Jurassic Park movie that had an actual dinosaur veterinarian! And then I started imaging what it would be like being a veterinarian for the Game of Thrones dragons! So many veterinary principles would still be the same. Here are my thoughts on the care of this exotic “new” species.
While a bearded dragon (Pogona vitticeps) is small omnivorous reptile, originally from Australia and quite tame, the Game of Thrones dragons can be quite large, carnivorous, fire belching and quite vicious. So how would I take care of one if Daenerys asked for advice?
Diet: What is the optimum diet for a growing dragon? Sheep? Cattle? Humans? How many a day does one need to eat to optimize growth? I don’t think we know yet, but we would probably want “fresh” healthy prey, not frozen, canned in armor or ill meat (zombies). Do they ever stop growing?
Environment/temperatures: All the reptiles I see are cold blooded, and never do well in the frozen temperatures we saw north of the wall. I can’t imagine flying north is good for our dragon’s metabolism, but they seem to withstand it. Maybe they aren’t cold blooded? Maybe they generate their own heat internally since they breathe forth fire? And what if you are changed to an ice dragon? That may help withstand the cold, but then can Viserion tolerate the heat of Kings Landing?
Training: These dragons seem highly intelligent and very food driven. As a new puppy owner, I know I can get them to do a lot for food. I also know they are high energy and need lots of exercise. Dany figured that out the season when she tried to chain them up to not let them fly, and naughty behavior ensued. I wonder if you could use clicker training on them like Owen does for the velociraptors in Jurassic World? What about pheromones? They do seem calmer when around Dany and her Targaryen “scent” and Jon (spoiler alert), so could we bottle that smell and tame the dragons? They obviously can be voice trained as in the “dracarys” command to breathe fire, maybe we can teach them some less lethal commands such as sit, roll over, fetch.
Parasite control: Reptiles commonly get parasites from their prey, so I think dragons would be no exception. I imagine those hordes of Dothraki might have some parasites. We could certainly send out a fecal to look for parasites if we could find a fresh dropping. Or maybe the fire inside kills all internal parasites? What about external parasites? Maybe we could have Dany apply a topical dewormer on their back based on their estimated weights.
Nail trim: I don’t even want to try, but the Fear Free approach might have Dany conditioning them to allow foot exams, then gentle touching and eventually filing or Dremel tool. But maybe their nails should stay sharp to help them catch prey like a raptor? She should have addressed this training when they were small and perching on her naked shoulders. Ouch.
Reproduction: Well dragons obviously lay eggs. But are these 3 dragons related? Are we sure about their sexes? How does one sex a dragon? Does it matter is they are the only dragons in Westeros? Do we want to have more dragons? Couldn’t we just clone them like Jurassic World?
Euthanasia: The current euthanasia of reptiles is sedation, followed by injection of euthanasia solution directly into the heart. Even then it is a slow process. Freezing a reptile is considered inhumane. These dragons seem to have a weak spot for dragon glass. But when Viserion was struck with a magic ice spear, and fell into a frozen lake, she became an undead ice dragon. Winter is coming has just taken on a whole new meaning with more bad tidings. I have questions and where did I put that dragon glass just in case?

91 Santa’s ELVES Certified

As a member of the American Veterinary Medical Association, and USDA accredited vet to write health certificates, I am signed up to be an official “Santa’s E.L.V.E.S.” (Emergency Landing and Veterinary Expert System).

Many of you know that I treat exotic pets, and some done some cattle work, but I have also had a “crash course” on reindeer medicine. Larissa, our new head nurse, and Kayla up front both have worked in mixed animal practice before with cattle. In the event that Santa’s reindeer team needs to make an unscheduled Christmas Eve stop for sled repairs, refueling, or veterinary care, staff at Garden Ridge Animal Hospital will be available to provide needed assistance and ensure a safe and on-time delivery of Santa’s cargo.

Our new illuminated sign will be in soon, maybe in time for Santa to find us easily.

Just like you and your pets, Santa’s reindeer need to be examined and issued health certificates in order to travel between U.S. states or across national borders. Thankfully, they’ve never had a problem being certified for flight, due in good measure to the regular examinations and preventive veterinary care they receive from AVMA’s president to keep them healthy.
AVMA’s current president, Dr. John de Jong, examined the reindeer shortly before their 2018 Christmas flight to make sure their paperwork was up to date and that they were all healthy enough to fly. And … good news! All the reindeer have received full “RTF” (“Ready To Fly”) status, so be prepared to hear on your roof “The prancing and pawing of each little hoof!”
To learn more about Santa’s reindeer, visit AVMA.org/Santa

To find the answers that kids ask about Santa’s Reindeer-

64 Corporate Speak vs Vet Speak

I got an interesting email this week from my business insurance provider, The Hartford. It was about the 60 corporate “buzzwords” to stop using. I found about 20 that we use in veterinary medicine, but with entirely different meanings.

Back end/Front end– “Doc, he has a sore on the front end, and is weak in the back end.”
Bring to the table – “Nurse, can you pick up the cat and bring it to the table.”
Circle back– “Doc, sometime he just chases his tail and circles back endlessly.”
Client facing– This is after I do my exam, type my notes then turn to face the client to talk.
Cutting edge– The edge of the scalpel that I don’t put my finger on.
Drinking the Kool-aid– So you have some injured wildlife that is dehydrated. It is important to get it to drink the Kool-aid, especially punch flavored.
Elephant in the room– This is what we think when we have a hugely overweight dog in the room. But I am going to discuss it.
Getting our ducks in a row– Yes I see birds, and an occasional duck. If someone had multiple ducks, I might say this.
Going viral– What we fear when we have a Parvo outbreak. That is why we vaccinate pets and disinfected cages and table tops.
Hack-“Doc, when he wakes up in the morning, he hacks like he has a hairball.”
Heavy lifting– Something we try to avoid, use a lift table, or do team lifts. Usually it is a 100+ plus dog on the Xray table.
Killing it– Something we do humanely, when the quality of life is gone, and all options have been exhausted.
Low hanging fruit– “Doc, my puppy has been throwing up rotten peaches that have fallen off my neighbor’s tree branch over my backyard”
Move the needle– What we do when we have trouble collecting blood from a wiggly vein.
Ninja, Rockstar, Wizard– What really cute names for kittens or ferrets!
Ramp up– What we do to help large dogs with arthritis get into a car or SUV.
Socialize– a very important skill for all puppies & kittens

https://sba.thehartford.com/business-management/60-business-buzzwords-to-delete-from-your-vocabulary/?cmp=EMC-SC-SBA-36776353&eml=1

57 May the Fourth Be With You

I am having so much fun looking at pictures of dogs dressed up in Star Wars costumes that I just had to share some. Here are some links. “Do or do not. There is no try.”
https://barkpost.com/dog-star-wars-may-the-fourth/
http://www.pawsforreaction.com/photos-may-the-4th.html#sthash.zfobdfgv.dpbs. ( I especially love the Whippet At-At)
And a short video with Dachshunds- https://www.thesmoothestore.com/blogs/dachshund-blog/123176259-may-the-4th-be-with-you-wiener-dog-style
There is a lot of Star War hype every May 4, but this year we also have the new Disney Han Solo origin movie coming out later this month. With so many classic and new series running, it is a great time to be a fan. My own granddaughter had her infant pictures made with Leia “buns” on a stocking cap, sleeping next to a Wookie & R2Dw, and is too cute for words.
Also, the annual Star Wars movies marathon with be on TBS Friday, May 4, starting at 2:30 am, till 11 pm. All 8 movies, not the spin offs. Some will repeat on Sat, May 5. “It’s a trap”, but “let the Wookie win”. And “the Force will be with you always.”